The Transformation Formula
A simple formula you can use to change every aspect of your life.
Have you ever been with people and someone will make a statement along the lines of: “John is [insert a label]”?
Where they say you’re a certain type of person, and despite agreeing with them, you know inside that’s not who you want to be.
This was the story of my life when I was younger. Throughout my life, I had been introverted, passive, and on the quieter side. And although I was well-liked and had plenty of friends, inside I knew that I actually didn’t want to have those traits.
I wanted to have confidence, not care what others thought, and be direct.
When I was around 18, it hit me that despite having these traits, it didn’t mean I was stuck with them for the rest of my life. I realized I could change them and become whomever I wanted to be.
So, I took action, and started building habits that would align with this ideal state I wanted to embody.
I began setting boundaries for myself, speaking up more, speaking more clearly, and shamelessly communicating my wants and needs.
Flash-forward 3 years later, and I had become a different person. I wasn’t afraid of offending others with my opinions. I spoke my mind. I was carrying myself with confidence. Family members and friends noticed the change, and thought I was an even better version of myself.
The purpose of this article is to show you that you can quite literally become whoever you desire to be, as cliche as it sounds. All it takes is a vision, intention, and constant aligned action to rewire your past habits.
How to Transform
You do not find the Self—you forge it.
Think about someone who had an incredible physical transformation. They lost 20 pounds and became absolutely shredded. That person completely transformed themselves. Anyone who has gone through an incredible physical transformation knows what it’s like. People look at you different, and often describe you as looking like a different person.
Now, let’s break down what’s going on psychologically when someone has such a transformation:
They’re unhappy with an aspect of their current state, and they build a desire to change.
They think about what their dream state is
They have to figure what must be done to achieve that state, and how long it will take.
They consistently take action to do the things that bring them to the dream state, and destroy past habits that keep them from arriving there.
They ultimately achieve their dream state.
The formula described above can quite literally be applied to any area of your life. Business, health, mentality, personality, ANYTHING.
To understand it better, let’s fill out the formula with an example:
Peter is 25 years old working a 9-5 finance job that he he despises. Every day is the same, and he has no freedom to travel the world, something Peter has been dreaming of doing since he was a kid. One day, Peter has a realization. He needs to do something to change his current state, or he’s going to be miserable for the rest of his life.
So here’s what Peter does:
Peter realizes that if he doesn’t do something, he’s going to remain miserable, and never be able to experience his childhood dreams. He must do something.
Peter realizes he wants to be able to make sufficient income, whilst traveling to all of the amazing places he has wanted to visit.
Peter gets thinking. How can he reach this dream goal? Well, he realizes he probably will need to start a business online, something that gives him location freedom.
Peter chooses to become an online fitness coach. He begins by waking up two hours earlier, and allocating his weekend time that he spent partying, to building a website and doing outreach for potential clients. Peter keeps this grind up every week for three months, and finally he lands his first high-ticket client!
Peter quits his job, and books a flight to Portugal. He now is able to put all of his time into the coaching business, and travel the world!
Peter rewired his habits around a single vision: build a business that set him free. Within months, momentum replaced misery.
Here’s How to Apply the Formula:
To transform, you need to first figure out what you want. Human beings are always either running away, or moving towards something. For myself, I really wanted to be that confident, social guy who didn’t care what others thought of him. For Peter, he was both running from the situation that made him miserable, and moving towards his childhood dream life.
So think about what makes you unhappy and what you truly want. And here’s the most important part:
You have to be rigorously self-honest.
Do you want a girlfriend?
Well, figure out who you need to become to be someone that a woman would want to date.
Do you want to get shredded?
Be real with yourself and pin-point what you’re doing that isn’t aligned with this goal. You know what you’re doing wrong and what needs to be done, at least to a certain extent.
The truth is there is no way for you to change or transform if you’re not objectively honest with yourself.
Most of the time, people are only going to tell you what you want to hear. People would tell me they thought I was confident and extraverted, but when I was honest with myself I knew that wasn’t the case.
One Last Note
The brutal truth is that for the most part, the people in your life don’t want you to change. If you go through a big transformation, even if it’s positive, you’re most likely going to get some negative reactions. This is because stagnant people can’t imagine doing what you did. And thus, it can trigger insecurity within them. Likewise, people only want you to be up to their level. It’s a harsh truth, but nobody wants you to do better than they are doing.
So no matter the reactions you get, be proud of the person you become and what you achieve through this formula.